That's what happened to me back in February after reading an opinion in the New York Times entitled, "The Boys Are Not All Right." This piece was composed in the wake of a mass shooting, and it brings a breath of revelatory fresh air to the entire debate regarding masculinity and acts of violence. We often find ourselves collectively scrounging for clues based on what we know about shooters -- their ethnicity, their motives, their religious backgrounds. We often gloss over the most prevailing common thread of all, though -- their manhood.
More often than not, men are the aggressors. Men are the shooters; men are the abusers. Men are astronomically more likely to inflict violence on the people they know. We have to wrestle with this undeniable truth that stares us in the face. When we're talking about rape, or school shootings, or gang violence, or violent robberies... we're talking about men.
I recognize the biological component in this, of course. The presence of testosterone can be an aggravating factor in the psychology of men in general. However, we are not merely at the whim of our biochemicals. We are more than that. So... what the hell is happening to men in our nation?
The aforementioned article argues that our nation's boys are not okay. They're broken and shipwrecked with no real direction and no real measure by which to understand themselves. We don't even know what it means to be manly. By contrast, women have stepped up and made tremendous strides to better themselves and liberate themselves culturally. Women are continually telling one another, "do what you want. Be what you want. Pursue the best you."
Men have stumbled in this regard. We have been sold a cheap imitation of masculinity that is more defined by what you can't do. A man shouldn't _______ because that makes him girly, or heaven forbid, gay. That monumental fill-in-the-blank has come to swallow masculinity whole. It's suffocating our boys everyday. Boys are defined by what they can't do, whereas women are making progress by broadening their definition of what they can do. I see it in the lives of my daughters constantly.
In light of this, I would like to propose a new vision for modern masculinity that liberates men to become all of what they can be. I want to see a return to the idea of The Renaissance Man -- a man who has a breadth of knowledge and experience and excels in everything he does. Leonardo Da Vinci was the icon of this lifestyle. A true renaissance man feels equally comfortable writing a poem as he does throwing a basketball. A true renaissance man feels at home in the kitchen and in the weight room. A true renaissance man pursues the arts and the sciences with diligence and curiosity.
And that one word -- curiosity -- is the key to this equation. More than anything else, the renaissance man is defined by a fervent hunger for all of what life has to offer. He is intellectually curious and that burning curiosity guides him in his pursuits. Maybe he's not knowledgeable of everything... but he wants to be. He wants to do it all. He wants to open all the doors and follow every path he sees.
This stands in stark contrast to the modern macho man, which wants to know nothing and discover nothing. Modern masculinity is defined by what you can't do -- cook, clean, write, sing, dance, self-care. Modern masculinity is a never-ending cascade of slamming doors. Renaissance masculinity is marked by all that you can do. It's defining characteristic is possibility.
When I look upon the horizon at men I respect, I identify renaissance men. They pursue multiple fields of interest and they hunger for excellence in the things they do. In that light, I want to be that kind of man as well. I want to understand athletic matters as well as artistic matters. I want to be able to converse about history, literature, world events, and pop culture. I want to discover the world in all its forms, and I sincerely hunger to understand.
It's no surprise that our highest office in the nation is currently held by Trump, a man who embodies the superficial hollowness that is modern masculinity. He stands in defiance to the entire notion of renaissance manhood -- he has the world's secrets at his fingertips, and yet he hungers for no knowledge. He delights in ignorance. It's pathetic. But I suppose that's another topic for another post.
I believe the boys of our nation have hope, if we can aggressively seek to open their eyes to a new way of life. Furthermore, it must not fall on the shoulders of women to do this. They have worked tirelessly to liberate themselves -- they can't do the mental and emotional labor of men too. It's time for fathers and men in the community to shake off the chains of modern masculinity and trade in those shackles for the key that will unlock all of what the world has for our next generation. It's time to let go of what used to define masculinity in our nation's past.
