Lessons in Music: The Ostinato

   The arts can be revelatory -- we can learn about the world and about ourselves through music, films, and books. As a musician, I also find insights and revelations in the creative process as it unfolds. The creating experience itself can be a mechanism for introspection and self-discovery.

Lately, I've had one particular idea on my mind -- the ostinato. In music composition, an ostinato is a continually repeated phrase or idea.  It is a motif, a common thread or theme that prevails throughout the entire composition. I've come to realize that our lives and the grand arc of our families can sometimes contain these repetitions and themes as well.

In light of this realization, one question beckons for an answer:

    How do we break the generational patterns and cycles that ensnare us?

Think about your family history. So often, the same frustrating patterns repeat over and over. In my family, suicide has been prevalent -- my mother and both of my grandfathers took their own lives. This knowledge can be heart-breaking to reflect upon, but I have to go beyond mere thought and step forward into intentional action. In the wake of this tragic history, I must embrace two critical steps:

1) Realizing the reality of this generational burden...

2) ...and choosing to defy my past on a real and daily basis.

Whether it's substance abuse, or chronic health problems, or self-destructive tendencies, we must face the repeating motifs of those that came before us. We have to dissect and understand the motivations, the deficiencies, and the missteps that perpetuated this ostinato. This may look vastly different to each person, but the underlying truth remains the same:

We must face the burdens of the past to overcome them effectively. 

I'm still unraveling what it means to defy my family's past. As I continue to discover and unpack these ideas, my hope is that I can press forward with intention and consistency.  I may be powerless to alter the past, but I still want to change my future -- I want to rewrite this grand and overarching melody for the benefit of my children and my community.

Thank you for reading On Letting Go, a blog about dealing with the wounds of the past. If you're looking for a little background on what inspired this blog, check out the introduction.  Click here for information on how you can find real and qualified mental health services for yourself or a loved one.